Sunday, December 19, 2010

The Big Fat Bet

This morning, my husband Matt, made a bet with me. I like to call it "The Big Fat Bet."

The Bet: To fit into a size 10 Levi jeans by April 15th, 2011.
If I win: Matt will take me on a week long cruise for my 32nd birthday in May.

I decided that the only way I will win this bet is to be honest, completely honest about being fat.

So, hi, my name is Mimi, and I am fat. I am a size 16.

My whole life, I have heard, "your not fat, your ______ (fluffy, plus size, plumpy, curvy, squishy, chubby, thick, big boned, Botticelliesque, husky, full-figured, rotund.... I could literally go on forever)." Or they would say, "you would be so pretty, if you lost weight." Ouch, I didn't realize I wasn't pretty, thanks.

There comes a point when you gain weight, that you don't even get on a scale anymore, so when a someone asks you how much you weigh, you just answer what is on your drivers license. It was so bad, that when I went to the doctor's office, I would close my eyes when I got on the scale and ask the nurse not to tell me how much I weighed. I would guess if i was losing or gaining weight by what size my pants were.

I always owned my size, I was never ashamed of being big. I had style, I was funny, I did what I wanted and size never held me back, until the time I didn't fit on a roller coaster ride. Yes, I was that person. That is the moment that changed my life. A couple of months later, I was on a plane to Peru for my lap-band surgery. At my full glory, I weighed 332 pounds and I was a size 30. Five years later here I am, not quite fat, not quite skinny. Just a little chubby.

Today, I will start my new journey, for real this time. I need to be the best me, not for Matt, not for my family, not for the past, not for the future. I need this for me and just me. I will share my ups, my downs, my work outs, what I ate, my struggles to break my addiction, my Starbucks withdraw, every single step of my journey.

So today, I will start with my first act of making healthy a lifestyle.

Step One: Join a gym.

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