Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Feeling the Burn

Day 4 of working out and I feel like everything in my body burns. The strange thing is, I am really looking forward to tonight's work out. I have always been a person that dreads the idea of anything active, but something clicked recently. You know what really works, when your husband makes you really mad, like Matt did last night, I just stormed right out of the house and went straight to the gym. Who knew that aggression made for a great motivator!

This week I met with my nutritionist, who is going to try to help me sort out my eating issues. She had a little bit of a come to Jesus moment with me about throwing up and the effects that it can have on me in the long run. Let's just say, that I am scared straight and I have not upchucked in the last two days! For me that is a huge deal, because since my surgery 5 years ago, I haven't missed a day with out throwing up at least twice. She also gave me a second assignment, become accustomed to eating a breakfast. Did you know "People who miss breakfast are four times more likely than others to become obese, a new Harvard University study indicates". I have never eaten breakfast, I just didn't like it and wanted no part of it. So how do I change that, how does it become something that I enjoy instead of a chore?

Well, I am off to try to make breakfast interesting and enjoyable. Maybe I will set the table pretty like a french cafe and do a little light reading. Hmm... actually sounds like the perfect way to start my day! Have a wonderful day my lovelies!

Pic of my breakfast this morning. Avocado, 1 Egg and Wisecrackers. Kinda yummzztothezeee

Monday, December 27, 2010

It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday

Hello sweet world. Is anyone else kind of glad the holidays are over? I sure am. I had such a wonderful time with my in-laws and my sweet little niece. We laughed, we joked and we ATE! Sometimes it seems that is all we do when we are together. I really tired my hardest to be good, but how can I say no to tiramisu and soda on Jesus's birthday?

So now it is Monday and really time to buckle down and get myself in a schedule. Last night after my workout, I did a little inspirational shopping which included a pair of size 10 jeans, 2 work out pants, some cute work out shirts and my new Flat Belly Diet!

My new best friend/ bible.

Later today, I have a training session and a date with reality, also know as BMI. Not looking forward to finding out if I am obese or morbidly obese. But I will take the information and work with it!

Ok, I leave you with a picture of me throwing out the left over sodas from this weekend. It made me very sad....

Did this holiday season make you feel guilty? What is your favorite healthy holiday treat?

Thursday, December 23, 2010

I might need to visit a Betty Ford Clinic

with·draw·al (w-drĂ´l, wth-)
1. Detachment, as from social or emotional involvement.
2. Discontinuation of the use of an addictive substance.
3. The physiological and mental readjustment that accompanies such discontinuation.
4. A pattern of behavior, observed in schizophrenia and depression, that is characterized by a pathological retreat from interpersonal contact and social involvement and that leads to self-preoccupation.
5. Coitus interruptus.

I truly believe I might be going through Starbucks and chocolate withdraw. Tired, headache, kind of a bad mood, even more tired, fatigued. These are some of my symptoms and I know the one remedy.

Number 2, yes, I believe you are causing grief in my life. Haha, number 5, I don't think I like the way you sound. It has been at least 4 days since I last tasted the sweetness that is a Venti Iced White Mocha. Thinking about it makes me want to visit Brian, my local barista and get a hit of my caffeine crack. How can a yummy delicious drink have such a hold over me? Why can't I be stronger? Oh dear Lord, why is there a Starbucks on my way home!

P.S. I had a quick fix... only a grande. I know, I am weak . Check out this site for more information on caffeine withdrawal.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Step One- Check

3/4 slice of Milton Wheat Bread
1 tsp of Raspberry Jam
1 clementine
1 can of Diet Coke
50.7 Oz of Water
1/2 Fish Taco
10 Lime Flavored Tortilla Chips with Fiesta Dip

I was so excited to wake up this morning and sign up for the gym. I was given a tour of the Las Vegas Athletic Club by a dude named Dan, he was buff and had super heavy Chicago accent. He attempted to show me the awesomeness that is LVAC, but I was mostly interested in the sauna and pool. During the tour Dan asked me why I wanted to join the gym and I simply answered, "because I want to wear couture on the cruise my husband is taking me on when he looses a bet." He looked at me as if I was joking and tried to add more to my statement "and be healthy.. blah, blah, blah (he probably said something important but lost my interest)." No Dan, unfortunately, I might be that superficial, I want couture and a cruise, that is all.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

The Big Fat Bet

This morning, my husband Matt, made a bet with me. I like to call it "The Big Fat Bet."

The Bet: To fit into a size 10 Levi jeans by April 15th, 2011.
If I win: Matt will take me on a week long cruise for my 32nd birthday in May.

I decided that the only way I will win this bet is to be honest, completely honest about being fat.

So, hi, my name is Mimi, and I am fat. I am a size 16.

My whole life, I have heard, "your not fat, your ______ (fluffy, plus size, plumpy, curvy, squishy, chubby, thick, big boned, Botticelliesque, husky, full-figured, rotund.... I could literally go on forever)." Or they would say, "you would be so pretty, if you lost weight." Ouch, I didn't realize I wasn't pretty, thanks.

There comes a point when you gain weight, that you don't even get on a scale anymore, so when a someone asks you how much you weigh, you just answer what is on your drivers license. It was so bad, that when I went to the doctor's office, I would close my eyes when I got on the scale and ask the nurse not to tell me how much I weighed. I would guess if i was losing or gaining weight by what size my pants were.

I always owned my size, I was never ashamed of being big. I had style, I was funny, I did what I wanted and size never held me back, until the time I didn't fit on a roller coaster ride. Yes, I was that person. That is the moment that changed my life. A couple of months later, I was on a plane to Peru for my lap-band surgery. At my full glory, I weighed 332 pounds and I was a size 30. Five years later here I am, not quite fat, not quite skinny. Just a little chubby.

Today, I will start my new journey, for real this time. I need to be the best me, not for Matt, not for my family, not for the past, not for the future. I need this for me and just me. I will share my ups, my downs, my work outs, what I ate, my struggles to break my addiction, my Starbucks withdraw, every single step of my journey.

So today, I will start with my first act of making healthy a lifestyle.

Step One: Join a gym.